Facebook Funny Status Part 1
Manny: nay,pila ka liters ang 4000 mL nga coke?
Dionisia: 4 nak!
Manny: xur nay?!
Dionisia: yis bebe!
Liter C
Liter O
Liter K
Liter E
------------------------------------------------------------
Bo: pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagsisimula ng letter A
Pare: approachable?
Bo: mali
Pare: amiable
Bo: mali pa rin
Pare: o sige, sirit na nga
Bo: Anest
------------------------------------------------------------
KONSEHAL: Paki acknowledge c Mayor. Late dumating, hayun kararaan lang!
PEDRO (Emcee): I WUD LYK TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE LATE MAYOR HU JUST
PASSED AWAY..
-----------------------------------------------------------
Tatlong madre nagpunta sa palengke:
Madre1 : Magkano itong talong?
Tindera : Sampung piso ang apat na piraso.
Madre2 : Paano yan sister, tatlo lang ang kailangan natin?
Madre3 : Bilhin mo na sister, yung isa ulam na lang natin.
----------------------------------------------------------
A wife wanted to scare her alcoholic husband. One night, he comes
home
dead drunk, she dresses up as satan?
Husband : Shhino ka? (hik)
Wife : Si Satanas! Kukunin na kita!
Husband : Huwag mo akong takutin? asawa ko ang kapatid mo!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Nagkita ang pari at madre sa isang seminar?
Pari : Ano ang apelyido mo, Sister?
Madre : Hulaan mo, hinahawakan mo gabi-gabi.
Pari : Titi !?!
Madre : Susmaryosep! Rosario po ang apelyido ko!
----------------------------------------------------------
Amo: inday! Dali ra lage nahurot ang totpik.?
Maid: nah,! Ambot lang jud mam kay bsta ako raba manutpik ibalik raba jud nako day0n.! Wahahaha. . .
----------------------------------------------------------
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. he decided to test it at dinner:
Dad: Son where were you today during school hours?
Son: At school (robot slaps son)
Son: Okay I went to the movies!
Dad: Which one?
Son: Harry Potter (robot slaps again!)
Son: Okay I was watching porn.
Dad: What? When I was your age I didn't even know what porn was! (robot slaps dad)
Mom: Hahahahaha! after all he is your son!(robot slaps mom). hahah What a Joke men
-----------------------------------------------------------
Titser: Verb is an action word. Juan , give me an example.
Juan: 'went' ma'am
Titser: very good! use it in a sentence .
...
Juan: maria go went to town .
Titser: Wrong! Kung gagamit ka ng 'went' wala na yung 'go'
Juan: ma'am! ung 'go' po apelyedo yan ni Maria, intindihin mo kasing mabuti,ikaw umupo dito ako magtuturo !
xD
------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: May 5 ibon, binaril ko ang isa. Ilan na lang natira?
Juan : Wala ma'am. Teacher : Tanga ka ba? Isa lang binaril ko mawawala na lahat? Di ka marunong magbilang? . .
Juan : Bobo ka ba ma'am? Di syempre umalis yung iba! Pag ikaw ba, binaril katabi mo, steady ka lang dun? Umupo ka nga rito. Ako na magtuturo! Bobo! haha
No comments:
Post a Comment